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Britney Spears2008 MTV Video Music Awards

Some random thoughts: (If I don't mention something, it probably sucked, or I went to take a piss, or both).

- Didn't this show use to take place in much bigger places? It looks like some Talk Show stage. They also got some horrible lighting. Everything just looks messy... I know they're trying to be cool and everything but this is downright unprofessional.

- WTF, Ashlee Simpson is still considered a celebrity? I should stop watching right now... but I just can't turn away.

- Russell Brand is hosting this thing and starts out telling Bush jokes. What is this, 2003? I was going to give this guy a chance but he failed so miserably. The guy is wooden and his delivery is forced. He's not even famous, so God knows why MTV chose him to present the show. He's been in one movie... and even that wasn't any good... I wish Chris Rock was presenting this: "Olsen Twins here, R-Kelly waaaaaay over there!"

- This is a train wreck so far... I'd almost rather watch the BET awards. Almost.

- So Miley Cyrus is eligible for best new artist because she switched names and took off her wig? Uh huh.

- The award montage clips are cut so quick that if you're not already familiar with a song/video, it's impossible to get a feel for what it sounds/looks like. They should at least play each song for 7-10 seconds minimum.

- I feel so old... I don't know some of these people... The Jonas Brothers? Didn't they have a show on Nick? I guess this is how far MTV has fallen that the friggin Jonas Brothers are on their award shows. A quick look on Wikipedia tells me they are some Christian kids with chastity rings. Uh, okay then...

- Poor Katy Perry, they cut her performance completely.

- Haha, even the Pussycat Dolls are complaining about how small the stage is. Did Nicole get a boob job? Those things look a little more legendary than normal... The Dolls are really taking this seriously. It's the MTV Awards, not the Grammy's.

- Lindsay Lohan looks terrible, even more so than usual.

- Haha, Kobe's facial expression is classic like he's saying "why did I come here?" They should just mail the trophies to the winners next year because I'll be surprised if anyone shows up again.

- Pink looks like 40 now...

- Slipknot giving out the award for best hiphop. WTF?!

- Yay Britney is hot again! I guess this is the first step is proving she isn't retarded to the general public anymore. Too bad she gave the same speech twice like a damn robot. This show should have been called "the MTV Britney Spears career revival project".

- I knew Lupe was going to get shafted again...

- I don't like Kid Rock, but him taking shot at the lipsyncers was awesome.

- Haha, speaking of which, Christina is CLEARLY lip syncing. Stick with the beats by Primo, Aguilera.

- If they seriously want fix the VMA's they need to go back to bigger Halls, get a real funny man, and have all the performances on the big main stage.

- I thought it couldn't get worse then last year... Britney wins the video of the year award? I can understand the female and pop award but I dont really think she worked half as hard like the other nominees for VOTY award. Why is MTV hanging on Brit's cllit? Why are they trying to revive her career?

- MTV should swallow their pride and just bring back Chris Rock next year and let him rip apart the big artists as well as MTV programming.

- Demi Moore? Really? Where were the A-list celebrities? Worst VMA ever.

- If you like Kanye's new song then you'd enjoy his performance, but it's not really a song where he can be energetic about it. I personally thought the song was bad though as it's just got a really, really simple hook, so the performance didn't work for me.

Final Thoughts: In the end, we got Awards determined by politics, Britney not performing, crappy acts that even get cut in half, lame TV stars, Nickelodeon puff groups, has-beens trying to hold on to just one more minute of fame, vapid chit chat about nothing, terrible art design, atrocious hosting, lame location, blatant product placements and no Katy Perry kissing a girl.

Basically nothing interesting happened. This is what happens when you get too many corporate pop groups that are too worried about their wholesome image to do anything controversial. In the 90s, you had real rock/hip hop artists who didn't give a shit about being nice to corporate sponsors. Seriously this year's VMAs was just a few shades away from the Kid Choice Awards. The show isn't going to have any kind of edge if you fill the show with teeny bopper groups and presenters.

Even last year's was better because of Britney's embarrassing fuck up, providing entertainment for us all, just unintentionally though. It is clear that someone high up paid MTV a nice amount to get Britney more positive reactions. She didn't really deserve to win anything.

Anyways, I was going to end this rant apologising to Americans about Russell Brand being up his own arsehole and the only thing he was famous for is being a presenter on a spin-off show of Big Brother (and of course being an arse), but after the American Revolution, you sorta asked for it, so we'll call it even.

Written by Tom Dawkings


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